Global Change Teachings for the New Millennium

Presented by Niánn Emerson Chase

to members and guests of Global Community Communications Church at a World-Wide Sunday Service

Introduction by Gabriel of Urantia

According to the peace calendar, the month of March is in honor of women, and on this day, March 4, 1917, Montana elected Jeannette Rankin, who was the first woman to sit in the United States House of Representatives. She voted against World War I, World War II and the Vietnam war.
Teaching by Niánn Emerson Chase
Montana. Isn’t that amazing, the first state to elect a woman. I’ve heard a lot of jokes about Montana as being out in the “back forty” and not real progressive and cosmopolitan. But I guess those ranchers and mountain men in Montana recognized the few women who were in their state, realizing that women’s perspectives were needed. Those men helped elect a woman into the House of Representatives.

Mary and Harry

A few weeks ago I visited a couple who have been friends of mine for quite a while. I love both of them very much. Each one is very special and very beautiful. I hadn’t seen them for a while, but every time I see these friends of mine, after spending time with them and enjoying each one of them in their uniqueness, I always experience a lot of sadness too, because they are basically unhappy together. Yet they stay together. I understand why they are unhappy together, and it saddens me to see two very special people who are really, really good people, struggling to make a marriage and stay in a relationship that really isn’t appropriate. It has kept them frustrated. Every time I see them they seem more frustrated and smaller than they were the last time I visited them. I’ve done a lot of thinking about the reason for this, and thanks to Continuing Fifth Epochal Revelation (CFER) and my own processes and growing, I’ve come to analyze and understand their situation. They represent so many couples in our country.

I’m going to call them Mary and Harry. That’s not their names, but that’s what I’m going to call them. Mary, chronologically, is about fifteen years older than Harry, and he was in his very early twenties when they got married. Just that situation itself is going to cause a struggle because most young men who are in their early twenties have a lot of experiencing and growth to do before marrying a woman that much older than them. Mary is exceptionally mature for her age; she always has been more mature than most women her age, so her maturity and his immaturity created a huge gap at the very beginning of their relationship.

There are many reasons they married. Harry realized the beauty in Mary. He looked up to her. He admired her intelligence, her independence, her kindness, her love for animals and all human beings. He was attracted to her charisma. He met her because she was his boss; he worked for her. He admired the way she was able to manage the twenty people that worked for her. He looked up to her because she had so many virtues. And she loved him because there was a purity in him. There still is. He had a childlikeness, a little boyishness that’s very, very appealing, and that little boyishness should stay in every man until they’re in their eighties and nineties. She loved that about him. She also appreciated his admiration of her, his respect for her, his looking up to her. She felt like she had a lot to offer him, and he felt that she had a lot to offer him, that he could learn a lot from her because she was fifteen years ahead of him in this life in reading and education and life experience. He had had some physical problems in his teen years that had prevented him from furthering his education and traveling and having a lot of experiences that she had been able to have in her teen years and her early twenties. So they got married.

Many years later I am deeply saddened by what I see in their relationship. Mary picks at Harry all the time; she nags him. She’s embarrassed by him; she apologizes for him and he runs away to hang with his male friends because he doesn’t feel at home in his own home. She is an artist and has created a beautiful home, a sanctuary, as she has done with all of the homes that she’s had. Mary has high standards of how her home should look; Harry’s standards aren’t as high. Harry is allowed one room in this home, a “guy’s room” that is not nearly as beautiful or clean as all the other rooms. It has no artwork; it has no plants; it’s got a television and a refrigerator with lots of beer in it. That’s his home; that is where he goes most of the time when he is at home. On the weekends and other days off, he usually spends the day “recreating” with a group of men. I understand why he does that. It’s with this group of comrades, these friends that he feels respected, that he feels worthwhile, and so he can be out and enjoy himself with these other men, and they’re not going to pick at him. They don’t care if he looks a little frumpy or if he doesn’t clean up after himself or if he wants to watch a ball game on TV When he goes home, he has to deal with the nagging and the feelings of frustration and hurt. It’s sad because Mary is so much more than a nag, but often with him, that’s all she seems to be.

Mary is what Continuing Fifth Epochal Revelation (CFER) calls a fourth-order starseed. Starseed have had previous lives, not only on this world but on higher worlds in other universes. She’s a much older soul than her husband, who is what CFER calls a first-light soul, a first-time Urantian, which means that he is a brand new soul with no previous life experiences. In the beginning of their relationship—when everything seemed neat, and she was marrying this real hot looking guy who’s fifteen years younger than her, and he was marrying this wonderful woman who was so gifted in so many areas—everything looked great. But when a young soul gets with an older soul, pretty soon what happens is that older soul is going to begin to pick on that younger soul if they are in a relationship that’s inappropriate, especially when it’s the woman who is the older soul. The older soul will soon tire of the younger soul, grow bored and restless because the younger soul will seem like a child and will not be able to keep up with the older soul’s understanding of life and situations. The older soul has the potential to grow very quickly because he/she can pull from past life lessons and experiences that the first-light soul does not have. It’s like a fifteen-year-old, or even someone in their twenties or thirties, being best friends and lovers with a five-year-old. That’s what has happened with Harry and Mary, and I can’t explain any of that to them because they are not open to it. Mary has resigned herself to staying with this man.

It’s sad because they could have stayed good friends when they met each other. Harry could have grown tremendously if they had had a more appropriate relationship, understanding soul age, etc. Instead he has regressed and moved into just a little tiny area of interests and activities. Mary too has suffered because, in order to remain in a relationship with Harry, she has to hold herself back and limit her own growth. They have become a couple that they never wanted to become, scrambling to survive psychologically and spiritually in a very frustrating situation—two good people with tremendous potential trapped in their own sense of obligation to each other.

Problems Women Have Experienced

The term “marriage” implies a close intimate union between a man (husband) and a woman (wife). In most cultures throughout the history of people on our planet, marriage has meant for most women, experiencing some form of submission to man’s superiority, some sense of being possessed or owned by a man, some type of dependence upon the man for her and her children’s lives, and all too often believing that a man had a right to neglect and abuse her. I’m not going to get into the history of the fight for women’s rights in this country or in other countries, but women are still struggling with having a sense of self-respect, a sense of self that is not necessarily dependent upon how men perceive them.

According to Mary Katherine Bateson—who is the daughter of Margaret Meade, the brilliant, world-traveled anthropologist who wrote many papers and books on various cultures—in her book, Composing a Life, women’s subversion to men in any society including the dominant culture in our country is accomplished by people taking advantage of two kinds of vulnerability that women naturally have. The first is a quality of self-sacrifice, a learned, as well as natural, willingness in women to set their own interests aside and be used and even used up by the family and community. Many women invest vast amounts of time and energy in much needed public service activities, committee work, and extra added on duties on their own jobs, in addition to giving all of themselves to their husbands and children. Women get worn out very quickly and they grow old much more quickly than men because they give so much of themselves in so many areas. I’ve experienced that in my own life and have stretched myself very thin, trying to do too much. When I met Gabriel, he came in and basically saved me from myself. I had overextended myself in my career, in attempting to be a single super-mother with insufficient help, in reaching out to other people in the community, and on and on.

The second kind of vulnerability that Mary Katherine Bateson talks about is not really a God-given trait. We are not born with it. It seems natural, but we’re trained to acquire a readiness to believe messages of disdain and degradation. Growing up, I was a very thin, tall female. I was thinner and taller than any of the other females in my class so I was called “broomstick,” and I believed that I was ugly, awkward, and gangly. In my teen years I made the mistake of looking at Seventeen magazine and being shocked by what was considered beautiful because I was not there at all. I didn’t look like any of those people. So in my younger years I struggled with feeling like I was gangly, ugly, unattractive to men, etc.

I realize that I’m not alone in having experienced this inner battle of gaining self respect and a sense of worthiness in spite of outer messages. It’s something that women have to deal with in the third dimension (dominant culture), and often some women begin to accept the snide comments that catty, competitive women make, or the degrading remarks made by insensitive and mean men, and, of course, the messages given by the media of what makes a woman beautiful, worthwhile, etc. These messages are based on superficial, shallow values with no spiritual significance. I’ve heard throughout my life, young men who are in the strength of their manhood and youth making fun of women—women who don’t look like all those other women publicized by the media who are considered sexy, beautiful, attractive. I’ve heard men making fun of women who are beginning to age and grow older; I’ve heard men making fun of women who are in menopause. It’s a very painful thing for women to hear that verbal and behavioral derogation and disdain directed towards women in general or towards them personally. I’ve heard those subtle and blatant insults directed at women in general over and over from men that I have worked with, colleagues who have a college education, as well as from men with little or no education beyond junior high or high school. I’ve observed many times the language and behavior men direct towards women when they see women only as sex objects and ego feeders. I learned to let those men know what I thought about their comments and how their insensitivity and meanness hurt me, even if it was not directed at me personally. So they learned to either keep away from me or apologize and become my friend in a higher way, without feeling obligated to flirt with me. They learned that we could just be friends, showing each other respect and appreciating each other’s differences and genders without making each other feel vulnerable and unworthy. But, at one time in my life, when I was in my teens and early twenties, I accepted those subtle and not-so-subtle messages of “you’re not much; you’re just a woman.”

The word “misogyny” means hatred of women, especially by a man. A misogynist, then, is a person who hates women. I’ve realized that I’ve met a lot of men who are misogynists, and they express their hatred in such subtle ways that it’s very often hidden. Many of them can be bosses, people who manage and are in a management position over other women. The hatred can manifest in many forms and it’s manifested in many forms for thousands and thousands of years in many places on our planet. There are many ways to implement dominance and superiority over a woman or another human being, male or female, adult or child. On page 108 in Composing a Life, Ms. Bateson states, “The misogynist works to exclude women from anything good, from anything powerful or beautiful. The friendly father figure works to keep women infantile, to keep them as a child. As women mature and acquire a certain authority based on experience, they encounter increasing resistance, and forfeit the illusory good that goes with being young and respectful.” As a woman grows older and more mature and more independent, wiser, more intelligent, often in the third dimension and in the work places, “sexism then slides into a version of ageism.”

I’m just so grateful that I’m here in this reality of Divine Administration rather than somewhere else, because I was beginning to experience that sense of lostness and vulnerability as a woman approaching her forties before this reality. I have many friends who are professionals or full-time homemakers who are experiencing this struggle, for often the messages not only come through the media but from their loved ones too—fathers, husbands, sons, and, unfortunately from other women. Many women who are in their thirties, forties, and fifties remain less than they can become in their maturity for they try so hard to remain in their twenties so that they can still get the approval of men.

The Complementarity of Men and Women

We all realize that men and women are different, that they are not equal in physical and psychological make-up; they are not symmetrical. “Symmetrical” means exactly alike. A butterfly’s wings are exactly alike, and that’s very beautiful sometimes to have that symmetry. Symmetry is in divine pattern, but so is asymmetry. Human beings aren’t symmetrical and men and women aren’t symmetrical. The book Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars focuses on some of those psychological differences and celebrating those differences and appreciating those differences instead of fighting them.

On page 938 of The URANTIA Book in a section entitled “The Partnership Of Man And Woman” we are told:

Each sex has its own distinctive sphere of existence, together with its own rights within that sphere. If woman aspires literally to enjoy all of man’s rights, then sooner or later, pitiless and emotionalist competition will certainly replace that chivalry and special consideration which many women now enjoy, and which they have so recently won from men.

On that same page it is stated that these special distinctive spheres of men and women often will overlap, but ideally there should be no competition between the two. It is also stated in that section of The URANTIA Book, that:

The differences of nature, reaction, viewpoint, and thinking between men and women, far from occasioning concern, should be regarded as highly beneficial to humankind, both individually and collectively. Many orders of universe creatures are created in dual phases of personality manifestation. Among mortals, Material Sons [and Daughters] and midsoniters, this difference is described as male and female; among seraphim, cherubim and Morontia Companions, it has been denominated positive or aggressive and negative or retiring. Such dual associations greatly multiply versatility and overcome inherent limitations…. (Ibid., 938:09)

So those differences between male and female, between the positive and negative (and the terms positive and negative have to do with energy, they don’t have to do with good and bad here) even exists in non-material personalities and angelic beings.

Men and women need each other in their morontial and spiritual as well as in their mortal careers. [We need each other all through our ascension process, all through our unfoldment in eternity.] The differences in viewpoint between male and female persist even beyond the first life and throughout the local and superuniverse ascensions. And even in Havona, the pilgrims who were once men and women will still be aiding each other in the Paradise ascent. Never, even in the Corps of the Finality, will the creature metamorphose so far as to obliterate the personality trends that humans call male and female; always will these two basic variations of humankind continue to intrigue, stimulate, encourage, and assist each other; [I want to say those verbs again because that’s how we should look at the opposite gender. We should continue to intrigue, stimulate, encourage and assist each other, not oppress, not fight, not put down, not compete with each other] always will men and women be mutually dependent on co-operation in the solution of perplexing universe problems and in the overcoming of manifold cosmic difficulties. (Ibid., 939:01)

Even on the spirit levels of consciousness, male and female differences are needed. Continuing in that section about the partnership of man and woman:

While the sexes never can hope fully to understand each other, they are effectively complementary, and though co-operation is often more or less personally antagonistic, it is capable of maintaining and reproducing society. Marriage is an institution designed to compose sex differences, meanwhile effecting the continuation of civilization and insuring the reproduction of the race. (Ibid., 939:02)

When two people get together in a union of complementarity and in marriage, from the celestial overview, it’s not just good for them, it’s good for all of civilization. It’s much bigger than just two people getting together; that’s from a higher perspective. In Divine Administration, because we are looking at life and reality from a higher perspective with the help of Celestial Overcontrol and epochal revelation, we come from a fourth-dimensional or even above, maybe a fifth- and sixth-dimensional frame of reference at times.One of the purposes of Divine Administration is to correct the incorrectness of how men and women relate to each other. In divine pattern there should be no subversion of women by men or for that matter, women oppressing men. The term “subversion” is taken from “subvert,” and according to Webster’s New World Collegiate Dictionary, subvert means “to overthrow or destroy; to undermine or corrupt.”

In divine pattern, men and women do not compete with each other or put each other down because of their differences but instead value each other’s uniqueness and differences. When relating to relationships between men and women, Divine Administration uses terms like “complementary polarities.” It almost seems like a paradox there because we think of complementary as fitting together, and we think of polarity as being opposites. In the third dimensional dominant culture, because of the influence of the Lucifer rebellion, we often think of paradoxes, polarities and opposites as opposing and conflicting. But being complementary polarities means woman and man opening up, not being closed, not being all uptight, caught in some role of the third dimension and from the Lucifer rebellion. Persons in a complementary polarity relationship opening up to give to the world and bring the world into their relationship, enjoying and benefiting from their differences. It sounds wonderful doesn’t it? Talk is so easy; I’ve talked about this for years, and I’m still growing in the area of being the highest complementary polarity possible. I’m much better, but I’m not perfect.

I have a friend (not in Divine Administration) who moved out of the house she and her husband lived in and went to live with a couple of other women; the three of them share a house, each having their own bedroom. My friend loves her husband very much, and according to her, they have a great relationship, but she decided that she didn’t want to live with him or with any other man. She enjoys the company of men as friends, sons, co-workers, etc, but she does not want to live with them, including her beloved husband. When I asked her why, she stated about men, “They’re bothersome; they are hard to understand.” She still spends much time with her husband; they still behave as husband and wife, they just live in different households. She is loyal to him and is not having an affair; she is not interested in getting into that kind of relationship with any other man; she just wants her own space, “woman energy” is what she calls it. I think we can all laugh about that because I’m sure that men often think that way, especially if they feel like Harry with a Mary continually correcting them. We can laugh about that and be honest and open and continue to be loving partners and friends. We have all these ideals, you know. We can talk about this, preach about it, teach about it, but to walk it, to live it, that is another story. In Divine Administration, living our talk, living our ideals and high standards is something that we have to do every day, and our growth and improvement is continually unfolding.

CFER uses other terms besides complementary polarities; there are “complements,” “highest complements,” “pair units,” “pair-unit classifications,” and “cosmic complements,” each one having a slightly different meaning. So, understanding the many dimensions of relationships between men and women gets bigger. It includes a lot of variables doesn’t it? Because for some there are bad connotations with the terms “husband and wife” due to neglect, misunderstandings and abuse in relationships, we do like to use the word “complement” when referring to our partner, our companion, our beloved of the opposite sex. Complement has good connotations. Webster’s New World Collegiate Dictionary defines complement as “that which completes or brings to perfection. The amount or number needed to fill or complete; a complete set; entirety; something added to complete a whole.”

Now I know that when Harry and Mary got married that’s what they wanted; that’s what they were envisioning, especially Harry, who was looking up to this magnificent, mature woman, who is so gifted and loved by many people. He wanted to become bigger as a result knowing her and being with her. He wanted to feel more whole, more grown up. But many years later he doesn’t feel bigger; he feels diminished, like a little boy. (This is not the little boyishness that I referred to earlier that is a more positive trait, being childlike, being humble, open to continual discovery and growth.) Harry hasn’t grown much, not as much as he could have if he was in a more appropriate relationship that allowed him to feel manly and grown up rather than belittled and small and inadequate. That is not Mary’s intention; it was never her intention to get in the way of Harry’s personal evolvement and ascension; she did not want to hurt him but to aid him. I’m sure that Mary, like so many women, had the “savior syndrome” when she first met Harry. “Oh, I will help him; I’ll bring him up; I have so much to offer him,” that kind of thinking. I think a lot of women suffer from the savior syndrome. In their own feeling of lack, in their insecurities, because they feel oppressed by men, some women turn it on the men and think they’re such silly little helpless people that they’re going to save those men from themselves. It doesn’t work that way.

Mary didn’t save Harry, and she doesn’t feel good about him or their relationship or herself. Harry and Mary never really did move into a complementary relationship. There isn’t the respect there is in a complementary relationship. If they had remained as friends, just friends, within divine pattern they might still be in a complementary relationship as friends, not as husband and wife, not in that kind of a situation but as good friends or in an elder sister-younger brother relationship, each enjoying the other’s company and gifts, showing each other respect and appreciation.

CFER has many papers about appropriate relationships between men and women in The Cosmic Family, Volume I as well as Volumes II, III, and IV. CFER in a real simple, basic, introductory way, refers to complements as people who come together in a meaningful, interdependent relationship that brings growth for both as well as functional dynamics that serve others in some manner. Besides men and women coming together as complementary polarities and pair unit classifications, complements can be parent-child, brother/sister-brother/sister, grandparent-grandchild, aunt-niece/nephew, uncle-nephew/niece, friend-friend, colleague-colleague, and so on. Complements can be more than two people working together. It can be band members or people in a theater group working together. The word “complement” then extends from just men and women relating to each other in a romantic way to human beings relating to each other and complementing each other. CFER has much information on appropriate relationships of many kinds within divine pattern.

We just heard a talk about the state of the world in some areas and how people are doing terrible things to each other. Neighbors, cousins, brothers, sisters; it’s very tragic, and it’s very sad. But if they could learn to relate to each other as complements, appreciating each other’s differences, it could be a much, much better existence for all of them and for the world and a safer place for all of us.

This is not the time to get into the specific differences between men and women. It’s fun to talk about that but I’m not going to discuss this at this time. We just know it exists. CFER calls those differences being Father- or Mother-circuited. Obviously then, women should be more Mother-circuited than men, though they’ll have that Father circuitry within them and vice versa. Men should be more Father-circuited, though they still have the Mother circuitry within them. It’s the yang and the yin, the male and the female, the positive and the negative, the aggressive and receptive tendencies. Those innate, eternal differences of circuitry have to do with our connections and our circuits to God the Father and God the Mother. Each of us ascending sons and ascending daughters, men and women, need to embrace our gender, our manhood or our womanhood, in divine pattern and in self-respect and in respect for others.

Yesterday, while eating in a restaurant with my children, I observed a woman at a nearby table. She was very beautiful physically. She had a delicate face that reminded me of a gentle doe with deep dark brown eyes that were big and soft. She was tall with a graceful-looking figure. My children asked me if she was a woman or a man because her hair was shaved off; she wore clothing that men usually wear, and her voice was low and husky. Though I saw a beautiful woman, most people would not have seen what I saw. They would have been like my children were; “Is that a man or a woman?” because that’s what she was trying to create. But I saw a person in tremendous pain who was struggling with her own identity as a woman. I saw someone who was intelligent, sensitive, and industrious. I saw someone who was lonely but was afraid to trust others too completely, for she had been hurt too often by others she had trusted and loved. I saw an ascending daughter of God struggling to compose a life of dignity, joy, and companionship. As she left the restaurant, I observed that she had erected a wall of protection around her, a wall of aloofness from strangers, walking straight and tall, looking directly ahead in space, making sure that she had no eye contact with any other person. She walked out of the room with the same seemingly disinterest in the people around her as she had displayed while sitting there. I felt saddened because I did feel a great sense of love for her, and I wanted to have a brief encounter with her. I wanted to look into her lovely eyes and smile, giving her subtle and silent acknowledgment and encouragement, but she never looked my way. I was never given the opportunity to express the love that I felt. When we feel love, it is meant to be acted upon; it is meant to be expressed, and somehow we feel damaged when it can’t be expressed.

Symmetrical and Asymmetrical Roles

Mary Catherine Bateson states in Composing a Life,

Today, I believe that we will not learn to live responsibly on this planet without basic changes in the ways we organize human relationships, particularly inside the family, for family life provides the metaphors with which we think about broader ethical relations. We need to sustain creativity with a new and richer sense of complementarity and interdependence, and we need to draw on images of collaborative caring by both men and women as a model of responsibility. We must free these images from the connotations of servitude by making and keeping them truly elective. Increasing numbers of women work now within the symmetrical model, because the asymmetries of gender relationships have been so profoundly exploitative and the discovery of comradeship (between the same genders) so rewarding. [That is why Harry runs to the comradeship of his fellow male buddies, because it’s rewarding for him, and he hasn’t worked through the differences between his wife and him.] But symmetrical modes promote competition and conflict….These models also involve pressing participants toward similarity, teaching them to play by the same rules and to abandon their different styles and different contributions. The loss is serious. [I saw that serious loss in Harry, for he could have become a very spiritual person. When I met him he was open and receptive to new spiritual truths, but now he is into the stereotype role of coming home, opening up the bottle of beer, sitting in front of the TV and that’s it. He is not able to communicate on a deeper level, not only with his wife but with other people. And he’s uncomfortable if someone tries to have a deeper conversation with him. He’s fit into the symmetry of the good ole’ boy syndrome. And Mary, she’s fit into the symmetry and the mode of the nagging wife who complains and gripes about her husband who has never grown up and who can’t pick up after himself, and she’s embarrassed and is apologizing all the time about her sloppy, slovenly, kiddish husband.] Furthermore, symmetrical models work badly across cultures, when differences are real and profound. They are almost useless as a basis for forming ethical relationships outside the human species; they don’t help us deal responsibly with the rain forests or the oceans [or with our neighbors.] (Ibid., 114-115)

In other words, how we relate as a family, as complements, determines how we relate to the rest of the living world, human and non-human, plant and animal. In Divine Administration, men and women, individuals, are encouraged to relate to each other in a complementary manner, an asymmetrical manner rather than in the old competitive, oppressive, symmetrical way.Ms. Bateson continues:

The differences between men and women are our most important resource in learning new ways of thinking about difference. We cannot change the disparity between infant and adult, though we can surely learn to understand and respect children more. But we can work toward households and schools in which the differences between men and women are visibly a mutual source of strength rather than dominance. A home is one model of the kind of complex whole two people—or more—can work together to create. The dimension of homemaking is also applicable to the building of laboratories and the staffing of offices, to making places where adults as well as children can grow, where strengths are fostered and possibilities are increased.
Women have a great deal to offer to this process today, but not because they necessarily bring the resources of nurturance and tolerance that create reform. Rather, having grown up expecting to be homemakers and caretakers, they still retain an understanding of interdependence. If they continue looking for complementary relationships, relationships of mutual give and take, when they have rejected inferior status, they can help to make these relationships more widely available. And when women argue against the various forms taken by the exploitation of women, against the premises on which traditional gender relationships and visions of the life cycle have been built, they are also arguing against the arrogant dominance and casual exploitation of the planet on which we live.
If the difference between male and female can be affirmed without connotations of inferiority and superiority, we may be able to change the exploitative elements in other relationships across differences like race and class and, more profoundly, between the developed world and the developing world, between the human species and the rest of the biosphere. (Ibid., 116-117)

I’m going to close here, and this is what I’d like you to do this week. You in the religious order of Global Community Communications all live among members of the opposite sex. I don’t think we have any house where it’s just one sex. Each one of you is an individual. I want you to think of someone of the opposite sex that lives in the house that you live in, that’s part of your family, someone that you struggle to understand. Maybe you think they’re crazy or just so hard to understand, someone that gets your goat a little bit. Someone that maybe you feel oppressed by or disrespected by possibly. I want you to really, really look at that person with new eyes, not the way that most people would look at that woman in the restaurant that I told you about. I want you to look at this person through God’s eyes. I want you to see an ascending son or an ascending daughter. I want you to think about what is their beauty, what is their potential in their ascending daughtership or their ascending sonship, and I’d like you to share that with them. It’s a private thing between you and that person; you don’t have to share it with anyone else, but I want you to choose to love that person and then act on it by sharing the beauty that you see in them and thanking them for what they are contributing.